meladoodle:

australiansanta:

australiansanta:

what type of rock is a really good friend

an opal

rocks will be your only friends if you ever use this joke

(via littlecomplications)

tittyfig:

angads2000:

tittyfig:

80% water 20% pizza and 100% swag

That’s 200%

I’m twice the man you’ll ever be

(via howfuckingironic)

lazarus-james:

vardaesque:

burritwo:

adrians:

a-creepy-weirdo-has:

adrians:

I had 3 stitches in my ear today and now my ear is swollen like a balloon

I’m not being racist but if you didnt want your ear to swell up you probably shouldn’t have gotten stitches.

how is that racist

they just said they weren’t being racist do you even listen

of course they can’t hear their ear is swollen up like a ballon

next time someone asks me what tumblr is i’ll show them this post

(Source: adrians1, via lolsomeone-actually)

tea-tears-and-bbc:

ballerina-austin:

deductionswiththedoctor:

So we started reading Romeo and Juliet in English class and i yelled out SPOILER: Romeo and Juliet die… and i shit you not at least 1/3 of the class got really pissed at me beacuse they didnt know thats how it ended

IT TELLS YOU IN THE PROLOGUE

CIVIL BLOOD MAKES CIVIL HANDS UNCLEAN

WHAT DID YOU THINK THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT, SOMEONE GETTING A PAPERCUT

(Source: totrenzalore, via lolsomeone-actually)

quazza:

i am reminded that english is a flawed language every time I am forced to use “that that” in a sentence

(via lolsomeone-actually)

dont-argue-with-your-serperior:

im that one friend that doesnt date anyone and doesnt really go to parties or have a life really but when im over at your house ill eat all your food and for exchange i shall tell you bad puns

(via can-you-not-omg)

juilan:

I have a PhD

Pretty Huge Dick

(via beyoncesasshole)